This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
smell my finger.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
