Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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