Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
