she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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