i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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