Umm I'm too high to move.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
never play flip cup with pint glasses
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
