The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
