can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
