Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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