i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
