Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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