i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
