Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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