Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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