Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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