How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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