I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize