that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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