Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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