dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
false alarm. still invincible.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
