And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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