I hate all girls vehemently.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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