A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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