I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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