Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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