you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
