I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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