and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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