So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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