this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
