I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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