I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
