she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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