Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
