found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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