Screwed.edu
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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