I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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