I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
