C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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