I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
