I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
