Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
