also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
