my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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