fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
