I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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