you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
