i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
