I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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