I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
