I bet he comes in French.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
