He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
